Lyrics from "Mestizo" (released in 2009)


Fade (lyrics by Jon Leyba)

Well I need somebody to hold me close cuz I'm right and ready to overdose on loneliness, what a mess I'm in

And I need somebody to blow my mind cuz I've been feeling more than kind of bored here, and a little ignored here

So I'll close my eyes, cuz there ain't nothing left to see

And I'll bide my time, cuz I've been waiting patiently

 

There's no love, there's no truth

There's only waiting and waiting and waiting for something new

There's no reason, not the good or the bad

There's no justification for the times that we've had

There's no blame, just the footsteps behind and the scars that never fade

 

She said why the hell can't you just leave me alone, I ain't your comfort, I ain't your home so don't lay your head down; I'll let you know when and if I want you around

I don't know why I keep getting it wrong

I'm a broken-hearted pessimist, but I still belong to that group of fools that don't believe in bliss but we still believe a kind-hearted woman exists

Somewhere out there, there's gotta be just one left for me

But my resumé makes it look pretty unlikely

 

I got the same old story to tell

Life's my lover and she treats me well

I'd be lost without her, she got me wrapped around her finger

But sometimes I think I wanna get away

She says if I go I can't come back to stay

No I can't get just one minute to myself, it's me and life or there's nobody else

Her jealousy is just another dagger in my side

So I know this time that I can't get out of this alive

 


Let It Go (lyrics by Jon Leyba)

I stay up late at night ignoring

Everything that I've been told

I wake up hurting every morning

Cuz there's a sickness in my soul

No more drowning in your wake

No more trying to stay awake, I'm gonna let it go

 

I look around and see the changes

Of a world that passed me by

I received too many graces

The more I get the less I try

No more standing in the way

No more life to live today, I’m gonna let it go

 

Did you think I'd throw this chance away

Don't waste tomorrow like today

Don’t you think its fortunate to know,

The world won't change at all, if I let it go

 

Now I don't recall the answers

Don't wanna think at all tonight

My thoughts tumble like a dancer

Somehow they're always close to right

I don't look for my mistakes

Someday I'll guess my life away, I'm gonna let it go

 


Hostage (lyrics by Mark Leyba)

I’m locked in this prison, staring at the wall

My fate sits beside me and beckons and calls

My heart thinks of nothing but walking out the door

My will isn’t walking, it’s lying on the floor

 

I can’t stop my mind

I can’t run away

I can’t fight this feeling

That’s holding me hostage again

 

My eyes have been blinded, my wits have been dulled

All that I wander is this dark grey cell

Everything changes but I stay the same

I hurt those who love me and do it again

 

I can’t stop my mind

I can’t walk away

I can’t fight this feeling

That’s holding me hostage again

 

Fear is the ocean I’m drowning in tonight

Hope is the lifeboat that’s barely in sight

Love is the waves that are tearing at my soul

Faith is the reason I’m breathing at all

 

I can’t stop my mind

I can’t look away

I can’t fight this feeling

That’s holding me hostage again

I can’t close my eyes

I can’t run away

I can’t stop this thing

That's holding me hostage today

 


Deep Blue Eyes (lyrics by Jon Leyba)

I don’t wanna start with goodbye

Don’t want to end in silence

I don’t wanna be pushed aside

Anger is blind defiance

There’s a price to feel safe

No loss is comforting

I waste all I’ve worked for

Waiting for this phone to ring

Here’s my last try to find you

 

When she lies I feel the cold regret that’s wasted all my youth

Deep blue eyes remind me how my view is lacking truth

Courage dies inside the best of men when old bleeds into new

Others try but there’s no hope of me denying you

Denying you

 

I’ve opened my eyes for the first time

I’m starting to see why a mind needs pain

Grasping for something familiar

Recreating the past with no refrain

I pass the best; take what’s left

The speechless void is such a damning test

A conscious track is what I lack

I can’t go on cuz I keep looking back

Here’s my last try to find you

 

And there’s no right reason to keep bleeding

And it’s so unkind to expect more time

And it just ain’t fair when she sits with a stare

There’s nothing to do cuz I can’t even move

And there’s nothing to say, I can’t look away

I feel my regret before the day is spent

Denying you

 


Love (lyrics by Mark Leyba)

Yesterday’s leaving

Tomorrow is gone

Time is against me

Memories lost

Ghosts of the future

Still haunt my past

I still believe that

This heartache may last

 

Love, love settles my soul

Love lifts me from where I was lying and love takes me home

Love, love cuts through the pain

Love pardons my weakness and somehow love covers my shame

 

Yesterday’s leaving

Tomorrow is gone

Love is the answer to all that I’ve lost

 


Circles (lyrics by Mark Leyba)

People walking out of love and into nothing

When you look around you don’t know where you are

Lost inside your soul, you utter something

But it sounds a lot like what you said before

 

Every time she goes round in circles

She looks, but she can’t find the door

Every time she goes round in circles

She thinks, I can’t take this anymore

 

She thought hers would be a love story

She never knew she could be wrong

But now it’s over, it’s her tragedy

A single mother with a son

 

Love him, love the little child

And the child of a child will grow up to be a man

Love him, love the little child

And the child of a child will grow up in his hand

 


Playin' (lyrics by Jon Leyba)

She’s around and she’s playin like she’s mine

She’s finally found that she got it right this time

Because she knows I’m having a difficult time to choose

And she knows I’m feeling like I got something to lose

 

You know she wants the love love

Said it’s not enough nuff

But my baby’s tough tough

There ain’t nobody she needs

She ain’t needing me, and she’s gonna leave

Cuz I’m too busy with nothing

Love love, it’s not enough nuff

But my baby’s tough tough

There ain’t nobody she needs

She ain’t needing me, and she’s gonna leave

Cuz I’m too busy with nothing at all

 

I’m playin the fool and she’s playin with my mind

She’s breaking the rules, but I know this game is mine

Because I know I’ve done this a million times before

And I know once she’s had a taste she’s gonna come back for more

 

These things get tangled in my head

And all these dreams are just commercials in my bed

But I, I’m going places with you

We both ain’t got nothing to prove, prove

I know I play like I’m always right

But baby you’re the one making sense tonight

I’m a little dangerous more than the rest

Just the other night I almost bled to death

And I know you’re strong, I know you’re tough

But you better watch out, cuz baby I can play rough with you

With you, yeah I can play rough with you

Even though I’m playin your fool, fool

 


When Tomorrow Comes (lyrics by Mark Leyba)

When tomorrow comes will you love me like you love me right now

When tomorrow comes will I be alone

But you promised me that you would never ever ever leave me and I think what you promised me was true

 

But, I can’t be, everything that you want me to be

But I promise you that I will try

I want to be the man that you knew when I was 23

Just fresh in love with my new bride

 

When tomorrow comes will you hold me like the first night when we were young

When tomorrow comes will I be your friend

When tomorrow comes will I be the one to hold your pretty hand

And show you how far we’ve come in love

 

And I know I can’t be everything that you want me to be

But just please know that I will try

If I could be, anything then I would want to be just the man that you now need

 

When tomorrow comes will you love me like you love me right now

When tomorrow comes will I be alone

 


Hope (lyrics by Mark Leyba)

I wandered so long in this desert in my mind

Fighting so hard for those things that I called mine

I thought it was freedom, making my way on my own

But I didn’t see these chains dragging me down

 

Then there was hope, hope has come

Then there was hope, where there was none

Then there was hope, hope has come

Then there was hope, and true freedom brought me home

 

You’ve heard the people say that they don’t have enough

Workin’ every day but the bills they just don’t stop

Well you say you’d be happy

if you just had this or that

Maybe we could stop and give thanks for what we have